Greetings friends,
Saludos amigos,
Today the word "Toxic" is used a lot, especially the phrase: "that person is toxic." I really don't like it very much since it seems like a fashion because apparently everyone is toxic.
Hoy en día se usa mucho la palabra "Tóxico", especialmente la frase: "esa persona es tóxica." La verdad no me gusta mucho ya que pareciera una moda porque al parecer todo el mundo es tóxico.
If someone does not agree with you, he is a toxic person, if a boss sets rules for you, he is toxic, etc. It seems that the term has been distorted and that is why I think I have only used that term with 2 people.
Si alguien no está de acuerdo contigo, es una persona tóxica, si un jefe te pone reglas es tóxico, etc. Parece que se ha desvirtuado el término y por eso creo que sólo he usado ese termino con 2 personas.
However, something happened to me yesterday.
Sin embargo ayer me pasó algo.
There is a person, whom I have been fond of for a long time, I have defended him because it seemed to me that he was a focused and aware person of what life is about... like me, this person said that everyone in the life we are different and we should not get upset because the other person does not think the same as us. Of course this has its roots in the fact that a part of the family criticizes those who do not do or think like them.
Hay una persona, a la que durante mucho tiempo le he tenido cariño, lo he defendido porque me parecía que era una persona centrada y consciente de la que se trata la vida... al igual que yo, esta persona decía que todos en la vida somos diferentes y no debíamos molestarnos porque la otra persona no piense igual que nosotros. Claro esto tiene su raíz en el hecho de que una parte de la familia critica a quién no hace o piensa como ellos.
I always thought that he was an empathetic person and even I said that he was the most normal of the family, since I did not see him criticizing others for not thinking like him.
Siempre pensé que era una persona empática e incluso yo decía que era el más normal de la familia, ya que no lo veía criticando a los demás por no pensar como él.
But after being like this for so long, now this person has dedicated himself to speaking ill of others, everyone is wrong if they don't think like him, he even makes mocking comments and his attitude is now somewhat arrogant.
Pero después de tanto tiempo siendo así, ahora esta persona se ha dedicado a hablar mal de los demás, todos están equivocados si no piensan como él, incluso hace comentarios burlistas y su actitud ahora es algo arrogante.
Yesterday we went to visit him in his new apartment and the whole meeting must have been pleasant and entertaining, but there came a time when the conversation was based on criticizing the neighbors for having some planting in their patio, or because the decoration was not to his liking, he expressed so ugly of these people that I felt uncomfortable being there and I thought, at what point did he change?
Ayer fuimos a visitarlo en su nuevo apartamento y debió ser agradable y amena toda la reunión pero llegó un momento donde la conversación se basó en criticar a los vecinos por tener alguna siembra en su patio, o porque la decoración no era de su agrado, se expresaba tan feo de estas personas que me sentía incómoda al estar allí y pensaba, en qué momento cambió?.
I have heard that sometimes it is not that people change, but that they were always like that but they did not show it, I like to respect other people's thoughts, but I do not like it when others say offensive words about others. He talked a lot about a man who has behaved very well with the family, maybe that's why I felt so uncomfortable, he is a friend of his father and he said ugly things about this man. I wanted to leave, but the others laughed and we had to wait for the meeting to end.
He escuchado que a veces no es que la gente cambia, sino que siempre fueron así pero no lo demostraban, me gusta respetar los pensamientos de las demás personas, pero no me gusta cuando otros dicen palabras ofensivas de otros. Habló mucho de un señor que se ha portado muy bien con la familia, tal vez por eso me sentí tan incómoda, es un amigo de su padre y él decía cosas feas de este señor. Quería irme de ahí, pero los demás se reían y debíamos esperar que se acabara la reunión.
On the way home, I thought... does the definition of a toxic person fit now? I really felt the toxic atmosphere in that meeting and it is that the last 3 times that we have met, he is dedicated to speaking ill of others and that really bothers me, I do not want to go there, but it is a family visit.
De regreso a casa, pensé... cabe la definición de persona tóxica ahora? de verdad sentí el ambiente tóxico en esa reunión y es que las 3 últimas veces que nos hemos reunido, él se dedica a hablar mal de los demás y eso realmente me incomoda, no quiero ir allá, pero se trata de visita familiar.
Who would be a toxic person for you?
Quien sería para tí una persona tóxica?
Yes, it is not good to bad foul someone. People sometimes can become toxic with certain circumstances or at a particular situation, that does not make the person bad or so. We can also behave that way once in a while. But yes there are some who are giving negative energy all the time and we need to cut off from such type of people. They are just not toxic but they are good energy vampire also, sucking out all our good energy.
That is exactly the concept that I have always given to them, energy consumers, there was no way to express me, I have always noticed that when I go to visit them I arrive tired or exhausted and saturated and I have thought that they steal energy from me but I thought that only I thought those stuff.
Life is just short, we would get to meet people who would just a burden to us in many aspects, so we just have to move on and try to avoid such individuals or community that will not add something in our lives in a positive way because after all, life really is a mix of good and bad, we have to choose the ones that will improve something to us. @blessed-girl👍
Yes, that's what life is about, selection. If I could completely distance myself from these people I would but I can't, however I have opted for distancing.
And as the word says, I take the good and discard the bad of their conversations, even if they are sometimes overwhelming.
Pues... lo que cuentas se parece bastante a lo que entiendo como una persona tóxica, una que envenena el ambiente en donde está con habladurías y críticas no constructivas.
Incluso si es familia, de verdad que toca tratar de arreglar las cosas y ver si hay voluntad de cambio, en caso de no tener remedio, bien vale la pena mantener una saludable distancia. De seguro que se lo puede tomar a mal si es una persona tóxica, pero es que de todas maneras puede que ya esté hablando mal de ti también, después de todo, mi abuela tenía una regla para eso, decía que no le gustaba estar ni compartir con gente que habla mal de otras personas a sus espaldas, porque era muy seguro que hablaría de ella de la misma manera con otras personas a sus espaldas.
Exacto, de eso estoy clara... la persona que habla de los demás frente a tí, habla tanbién de tí cuando no estás
If they make you feel uncomfortable, afraid or you feel the life is being sucked from you they are toxic. I had an aunt like this and a cousin. I cut them off. If they are taking something away from you emotionally then best to avoid them.
Hello, it's hard when it comes to family because you always have to go, what I'm trying to do is not go too often... the distancing helps a little.
Most of my family are dead and the ones left I don't want to see so I just removed myself completely by leaving the country hahaha
Caras vemos, corazones no sabemos, Sí te parece una persona dañina y es familiar, solo te quedan dos opciones.
O hablar con él y orientarlo o ser distante, no que lo abandones, pero sí mantener una mayor distancia por tu salud mental ^^ Ojalá logren hablar con el para verificar sí su situación de amargura sea por alguna situación que no sepa manejar
Sí, he optado por mantener mayor distancia.
I think for me it’s about toxic relationships really and I don’t just mean romantic. For me I would say something is toxic if we cannot reach any kind of way to communicate healthily. That doesn’t mean agreeing or disagreeing you can easily disagree with someone on almost everything but still communicate really well and it’s not even an issue. Some people can end up just draining you and exhausting you because you cannot find any way to communicate healthily or in relationships maybe can’t reach any kind of compromise meaning one of you doesn’t get your needs fulfilled but hasn’t walked away and keeps trying to bend themselves or change the other person. An example of what I find toxic is trying to communicate over something and a person makes it personal or insults you rather than stick to the topic, or someone trying to make you feel lesser to gain control and feel like they can keep the power. This doesn’t always mean they are a bad person they just have their own issues and sometimes they are not willing to move away from their issues at the relationship is too negative to continue because it doesn’t allow you to grow and flourish and holds you down.
I definitely think you can get to a point you realise it’s a toxic environment and it’s best to leave it rather than try and heal it. Whilst on most levels it’s great to heal all relationships sometimes I think you can do that alone and cut the other person off. I personally tend to only cut off ppl I find I’m incapable of finding any way of communicating with them that doesn’t just waste hours and hours of time either arguing back and forwards or just feeling drained and unfulfilled. You have to pick your battles in life sometimes lol but I do know what you mean it has become a buzzword for people bipassing growth in many occasions, if your going around and cutting ppl off left right and centre it’s probably you who is also ‘toxic’. Another buzzword is narcissist lol or victim shaming
Hi, I used to try to help many people that others did not want to be around because they were so complicated, until I had a master's degree with a friend... it was very difficult to try to help her, she saw everything in life as negative, she even gave me her user password once at work to fix his pc and the password left me surprised, who could use a password like that... no matter how hard I tried in the end I felt my energy run out and I just walked away... it was a friend. In this case, he is a relative and his circle since he was a child has been pride and criticism, he was different from the others in his family nucleus, but now, I think he is getting a little of that essence that runs through his veins of his nucleus family.
I have chosen not to comment on their negative conversations.
Have a happy day.
Yeah I think it’s nof always someone is toxic as much as a partnership is toxic to you and draining. Like maybe he hAs another negative friend and they whinge together all day and that is ok rly they get each other and probably enjoy having someone to whinge too. I guess it becomes toxic when it’s a complete inbalance in alignment
yes, well, that part of the family is the one that sees everything bad and negative, he was the only one who saw things differently, but I think his DNA has already come out to defend his heritage... and tomorrow we have to go visit them again time.